Home

Ahhhhh the feeling of being with someone who feels like home🙂 Delightful, isn't it?

And love...ahhhhh, love. Meeting and falling in love with someone who feels like home, just Heaven, isn't it?

Lately, this idea of "Home" has come up for me a lot... in friends, in my own life and in the life of my loved ones.

I have two friends. They are women. They recently got twitter-pated with men who are pee-pee heads and treat them like garbage. At the same time, different men have approached them who are kind, gentle and good. For SOME reason, they want the pee-pee headed men and aren't interested in the good, kind men. They told me they KNOW the good, kind men are the better choices, but can't explain why they're so attracted to the pee-pee headed men. They told me the pee-pee headed men feel like "home" to them.

I asked them, "Well, that makes sense, doesn't it?"

"What does?" they asked.

"Home to you felt just like this when you were growing up. You had to fight for attention and affection. Home wasn't a place where people doted on you and loved you just for breathing. You got attention when you performed well, or after behaving in a way that got their attention. "Home" to you feels like that. You're used to being ignored and treated like garbage. So that lights you all up. Home wasn't a squishy marshmallow. Home was some place you were mistreated. You know this guy sucks. But you want him, because he's triggering 7 year-old you, who is pining for the attention and affection of your parents."

"Oh. My. God." was their reply. I believe both women cried when I brought this to their attention. I know at least one of them did.

In moments such as these, I know there is a lesson for me to learn as well. Everything comes so that we can learn and grow.

Think about that for a second. The person you love. Or whom you're married to. Think of the beginning. They felt like home and you fell in love with them, right? Every part of you felt good and fluffy and squishy and it was just "so right."

But think of your childhood home. How did your parents love you? Or one parent? Did you have to work for or perform in a certain way to gain their praises and affections? Or were you loved like a squishy marshmallow simply for breathing? Were you loved wholly or were you awkward and ridiculed by a parent? And now think about how the person you love and are married to behaves? Do they love you like you were loved as a child?

This causes us to make a choice, now doesn't it? This causes us to look at ourselves and our babies (if we've made any) and it forces us to ask ourselves.....this life I've created....."do I want to continue this for my babies?" Because your babies will create the life you have built for them. Home will feel like the home you have now. And they will most likely marry someone who feels like home to them.

Does your current home feel like a squishy marshmallow where your babies are loved wholly? Or is home a place where they have to earn your affections or perform a certain way to gain your affections?

Choice point.

Be mindful of what love and home felt like when you were growing up. And pay attention how you are loved by the person you love, and how you love your babies.

This time where we are being forced to be together. Where we are forced to see ALL THE WAYS that no longer serve us. We are being forced to break old patterns. To listen to our hearts and souls. To understand that sometimes, what feels like home, is exactly the giant wound we are meant to heal within ourselves.

Be loved, Beloved❤️